0:00

Welcome to Deckheads, a production

0:02

of IR Radio. Welcome

0:05

to Deckheads with your hosts Nick

0:08

and Anna, broadcasting

0:10

from the bottom of the boat below

0:12

below deck. Whoa, I'm

0:15

horny, all ya talk

0:18

all the time. I'm having a

0:20

party. We're shoveling

0:22

cold to keep this show afloat. I

0:24

love cocaine. We're

0:27

off the map in international waters.

0:30

I need some tramla me hide

0:33

that cocaine. Never in

0:35

my nose. Shut see you

0:37

know I'm in an open relationship

0:41

below deck woo

0:44

me deckheads.

0:48

Heyck Anna, how

0:50

are you, queen? I'm

0:52

incredible king? No you

0:55

king? No, you king,

0:58

No, you king, you are

1:00

my king. No, don't

1:03

yoke about this. You're my lean

1:06

queen, all right, and

1:08

there's no way anyone likes that, my

1:12

lean queen. Yeah

1:14

yeah, it does make it sound like you're like, very like

1:16

skinny. You're my lean cuisine.

1:21

Yummy, So

1:25

okay, we're not doing any yummies. No

1:28

Anna,

1:30

yeah, no. Hi. You were telling

1:33

me earlier a show or two ago

1:36

that you were having some work done on your roof.

1:38

Last show, last last show, yet, last

1:41

episode. You're saying yet some

1:43

You're having some work done on your roof. Now

1:45

I hope everything's fine. Is there anything? Okay? No,

1:48

So what's happening is now my roof is caving

1:51

in? My ceiling is they were

1:53

replacing the roof in quotes because who

1:55

then knows? And now the ceiling is caving

1:57

in inside my bathroom home.

2:01

Everything's great. I do feel like I'm

2:04

going to die here, but everything's

2:06

great. And you know what, there is nothing

2:08

more exciting than in a trash

2:11

l a rental property that you pay

2:13

too much for to die

2:16

in. Now you're making

2:18

more money than you were

2:20

when you started. They're

2:22

right, Yes, I

2:24

make a lot of money. I mean you're making more

2:26

money now than you

2:28

were when you when you got to the apartment, when

2:31

you took the apartment. Yeah. Sure,

2:33

Now I'm not saying you're making a lot of money. Nobody

2:36

knows that your your apartment is terrible. Okay,

2:38

thank you, lings

2:43

of course, everyone everyone knows now it's not a

2:45

good apartment. Uh,

2:47

why don't you take some of that money? And

2:49

how much you're spending less money than

2:51

ever because you you are in quarantine.

2:54

Yeah, and that's to the nature of quarantine.

2:57

If you have a job, you are stacking

2:59

them. Why don't you take

3:01

some of that money and move and

3:04

move. Well, um, I would

3:06

say, because

3:09

I'm using this opportunity to save

3:12

up the money and buy a house. Mhm.

3:16

But the housing market is so

3:19

trash in l A that they

3:21

will ask for seven hundred

3:23

to eight hundred K for

3:25

a two bedroom that's missing

3:28

a floor, and you have to be like, now,

3:32

I'm sorry, um, and is

3:34

there going to be a floor by the time I move

3:36

in? And they're like, no, the floor

3:38

is your responsibility, and

3:41

that, in my opinion, is

3:44

bullshit. And I'm not gonna pay eight hundred

3:46

thousand dollars for a house

3:48

that's two bedrooms one bath, okay,

3:51

whereas my partner's supposed to ship when I'm

3:53

shooting and also has no floor.

3:57

And that's just an exaggeration, but

3:59

that's the vibe of some of these places.

4:01

They are trying to gouge us

4:03

for money for what. Why do you Why would

4:05

you move into a place like that? But that's

4:08

what I'm saying, Like, that's what's

4:10

out there for real estate right now? You're

4:13

like what you are?

4:15

I've lost your mind. It's a buyer's

4:17

market. People

4:20

are dying to fill. There are people, Uh,

4:23

nobody can pay rent if

4:25

you can pay rent. You are a hot

4:28

fucking commodity. This is

4:30

just a fact. What you think, what you think is going

4:32

on is not happening. I'm

4:34

not in a renter's market. I'm trying to get into a

4:36

buyer's market. And the houses

4:38

that I'm looking at just aren't like

4:41

the apartment that we got it to start a choir. There's

4:44

another one in our building that is the exact

4:46

same layout and

4:49

it's gone down a hundred dollars and

4:51

she has not been able to fill it in the last four

4:53

months. And how much is the rent? Well

4:56

I'm not going to talk about my rent on the show.

4:59

Okay, well then what are we doing here? What

5:01

are we doing? If you're not telling Harry

5:04

what are we doing here, I'm telling

5:06

you it is a good time to move.

5:09

You can find something better. And you

5:11

know what, I just need everyone to never do again.

5:14

Never live in a management company

5:17

owned building. It's not a

5:19

good idea. You want to

5:21

get a landlord that's a person, you

5:24

know, someone you can talk to any

5:26

management building where you have to like go

5:28

through all of this fucking red tape. Every

5:31

time someone would knock on my door,

5:33

it would be a new person who works for the management

5:35

company coming in my house and

5:38

I'm like, who the fuck are any of

5:40

you? And if I tell anyone a problem, they're like,

5:42

oh, I don't do that. But

5:46

now we have this place owned by a little old lady

5:48

and every time we have something wrong with

5:50

it, she uh fixes it immediately that

5:52

day. It's pretty fucking

5:55

cool. And I'm just saying, there's

5:57

lots of these opportunities out here because

5:59

they're are less people. There's they're also people

6:01

leaving cities, people

6:04

going home and dad, Mama,

6:07

that's real. This is real, Mama

6:11

and Papa. Mhmm.

6:15

Yeah, maybe I should move

6:18

home. Give it all up. You're

6:21

right, Nick, Well, at

6:23

least you got what I was laying down. Yeah,

6:26

I know you're right. All right,

6:28

let's start the show, guys. We're talking below

6:30

Deck, season seven, episode

6:32

eleven. That's right. We were at seven

6:35

eleven a k a. The convenience

6:37

store, a k a. My dad's

6:39

birthday. He was born on seven eleven.

6:42

Good for him. Every time we drove

6:44

by seven eleven and be like, it's my birthday,

6:46

and we'd be like, t he put

6:49

the wine glass down, you're driving, so

6:52

here we are. I

6:54

wish I was joking. There was a hot minute

6:56

where we had to tell my daddy could not bring the wine glass

6:58

into the car. Okay,

7:02

what why? No?

7:04

I just said, Okay, clearly you have

7:06

a complicated family life, and

7:08

I am done hearing about it. Let's

7:11

just say my dad has some uh

7:14

who's a good drunk on below deck. My

7:17

dad has Trevor. Yeah

7:20

sure, but not as violent, no, more

7:22

like good time, like like Matt the

7:25

chef. Matt just like whack a doo

7:30

ah, just likes to take

7:32

his shirt off at inappropriate places. Yeah.

7:35

Yeah. So Blood X season seven,

7:37

episode eleven, What a wild ride.

7:40

So we continue with Brian apologizing

7:42

to Kate for calling her a bitch

7:45

and Ashton bitching at Tanner outside

7:48

about Kate throwing the clothes on the ground

7:50

in front of Captain Lee, and Kate's

7:52

in her room crying, and Brian

7:54

goes to bitch at Courtney for taking Kate's

7:57

side, and she's like, I didn't take anyone's side,

7:59

and you are the one being so pissy, and

8:01

he's like, okay, well, is this going to be it?

8:03

Then? Is this gonna be it then? And

8:05

she's like whatever, bro, And

8:08

then Brian blames Kate for causing

8:10

problems, even though he was the one that called

8:13

her a bit. I

8:15

feel like the only time Kate was like being

8:18

shitty was when she was like

8:20

bitching at Kevin about

8:22

the tab paying ship. The rest of the

8:24

time, she was just minding her own business

8:27

getting drunk at the pool. It's

8:30

like everyone is like taking her like

8:32

minding her own business as an offense.

8:35

Oh, it's weird, you know, it's weird if

8:38

one person doesn't want to hang out with

8:40

everybody else. No, it's not weird if

8:42

that one person is fifteen years older

8:45

than most of the people on the boat. I

8:47

mean, I don't know. Well,

8:50

don't go on the thing, yes,

8:52

I don't do something else. Why are you to sit the

8:54

pool right now? And you can't ignore

8:56

people in front of them in their face,

8:59

But you can't. And if you have to spend every

9:01

fucking day with them and you're just trying to have

9:03

some time to yourself,

9:06

you should be allowed to do that. I

9:10

don't know, as someone who likes to be left alone

9:13

a lot, who

9:15

needs their me time. If you will,

9:19

um Zach just called me a weirdo in the background,

9:21

Please disregard um.

9:24

Please strike that from the record, Thank you.

9:26

Um. I think

9:28

it's fine to be like hey, guys, like I see

9:30

you every day, you know, like I'm

9:33

just gonna lay here and drink cocktails and

9:35

pass away, Like I don't need you guys drunk

9:38

screaming in my face. You're gonna

9:40

eat You're drink cocktails and pass away.

9:43

Yeah, yeah,

9:47

that's what I need to do to be left alone. Yes,

9:51

and then bitch

9:54

to be like some like fucking

9:57

I don't know, like shitty twenty

10:00

five year old. I don't know actually how old

10:02

Brian is. It might be like thirty whatever, but

10:05

like some shitty like young guy. I guess

10:07

he's not young, but whatever, Like just

10:09

like being like,

10:11

hey, you don't pay attention

10:14

to us enough. It's like, yeah,

10:17

go fuck yourself. I

10:19

don't need to pay attention to you. I work with

10:21

you every single day. Most people

10:23

when they work with someone every single day,

10:26

when they go on VACA, they don't

10:28

have to see them.

10:31

I don't go like, hey, Jack Miles,

10:34

should we all go to Hawaii? Together? You

10:36

should? I wouldn't.

10:40

I just wouldn't. Maybe one day we will, but

10:42

I wouldn't actively pursue it because

10:45

you want to get away from the like, you're trying to

10:47

shut your mind down, and you know what, do

10:49

we have more minutes for me to defend

10:51

this week? Okay?

10:53

Whatever? So Kate's upset in her

10:55

room and Riley's trying to clean up and make it nice,

10:58

and Kate thinks the whole crew hates her and

11:00

she doesn't get what she's done to deserve all of this,

11:02

and feels like should have to point out to them to

11:05

respect her stripes and her position,

11:07

but someone should, And then Riley

11:09

tucks Kate into bed as she cries herself

11:12

to sleep on guess

11:14

what. Tanner fucking Shadeball

11:17

text Simone to come into his room and

11:19

asks Brian to pull a switcheroo with Simone.

11:22

So he goes into the room and it's like, Simone,

11:24

Tanner would like to see you now, and

11:26

she's like okay, and

11:29

Simone goes into their room and

11:31

she Smone says she feels weak, but

11:33

she goes into Tanner's bed and Brian tells

11:35

it half asleep Courtney that he's sorry

11:37

and want it came over to say sorry, even though

11:40

no he didn't. He only went over there because Tanner

11:42

now all of a sudden, he's sorry being like, what is

11:44

this ship? You didn't take my side? And

11:46

then he gets into bed with her and everyone goes

11:48

to sleep and

11:51

it's the next day.

11:53

Just a reminder, all

11:56

the deck crew are trash true

11:59

cool So yeah,

12:01

yeah, all of them.

12:04

Yeah. Ashton Trashton,

12:07

Brian trash,

12:09

Giant, Tanner

12:12

trasher trash, trash trash,

12:18

and Riley trash

12:21

Ley. I mean, she's well, you're

12:23

right. I find myself again on

12:25

Riley's side. Sorry, but there is

12:27

a certain way that these

12:29

guys treat her that I can't

12:31

help but always fall on Riley's

12:33

side. Mhm, I'm

12:37

just on the woman's side. Sorry. You

12:40

don't have to apologize for to me.

12:43

You have to apologize to society. No, huh

12:46

no, I know so. Um.

12:48

Captain Lee calls Kate to have a cup of coffee

12:51

with her that morning with him that

12:53

morning and she joins him, and

12:56

Riley and Ashton are talking about

12:58

Kate and they think Kate was surprised

13:00

that Captain Lee didn't defend her in that moment

13:03

when she was throwing on the ground, and Riley

13:05

says she doesn't want to betray Kate, but she definitely

13:07

runs the ship how she wants to run

13:09

it, and she gets a lot of preferential treatment. It's

13:12

like yeah, yeah. Captain

13:14

Lee tells Kate he won't tolerate her behavior,

13:16

and she says it was because she had been drinking since

13:18

ten am, and Kate says she's hungover

13:21

and not happy to have a conversation with Captain Ly about

13:23

her behavior. And then Captain Lee says

13:25

that Kay has been with him for five years,

13:27

so she has earned preferential treatment,

13:30

but her behavior was inappropriate and he's

13:32

disappointed in her. He says something like

13:34

this will never ever happened again on

13:36

his boat, and then she apologizes

13:38

and says it won't happen again. And then it leaves succinct

13:42

to the point everyone's

13:44

dead, so

13:47

everyone's working on flipping the boat. Kate

13:49

says she's happy that Courtney is good at her job

13:52

and that Courtney respects her. And

13:55

then it's the next charter meeting with Kate, Captain

13:57

Lee, Kevin, and Ashton, and Captain Lee

13:59

tells him to act like adults. And

14:02

then we learned that Master Pearson and Lady

14:04

ten In not coming back again. Were

14:06

you able to get the likes and dislikes?

14:09

No, they didn't really show them because they're they're returners.

14:12

If you were called this was the

14:14

family they came with their kids on the

14:17

last charter season five where

14:20

they had

14:22

it was awful, No, this was season six,

14:24

sorry not season Caroline broke that glass

14:27

and left it there and then the little kids stepped

14:29

in it. Yeah, it was all sorts of bad,

14:31

like Chandler dropped one of

14:33

the women who's actually coming back as well.

14:36

It was just a mess. So, yeah,

14:39

they had a shitty time last time, so they're

14:41

really hoping to step it up this time

14:43

and fix everything. And Ashton

14:46

says him and Kate will have to put their shit aside so they

14:48

can do the job. We learned that they

14:50

want a traditional dance performance after the first

14:52

dinner. They also want to as a surprise,

14:55

the wife would like to bring the parents of the husband

14:57

who live in Thailand onto the boat. Uh.

15:00

And they also want a Roaring twenties theme party

15:03

and the kids have to wear life jackets whenever on deck

15:06

like last time. So

15:08

Ashton asks to meet with Kay after their meeting

15:10

because he thinks that she has no respect for anyone

15:13

on the crew and thinks that she's better

15:15

than everyone. After

15:17

she meets some Kay explains what happened with Brian

15:19

and him calling her a bitch, and Ashton says that

15:21

he was just trying to figure out what was going on because he just

15:23

came out and all their pants are on the ground, and

15:26

then he complains that Kate and Riley

15:28

are taking too long to get ready, and

15:30

kids like, well, Riley hasn't been here that long, and

15:32

he's like okay, well was those two times?

15:35

And she's like okay, and

15:37

yeah, kid's not impressed. She's

15:39

like, I'm sorry you feel that way. By

15:42

and she's like I thought he was going to apologize and

15:44

instead he just complained more. She said,

15:46

I'm sorry you feel that way.

15:49

Yeah, Kate has an accent now, no,

15:52

that's Ashton said it later to

15:54

the guys and it's crazy.

15:58

She's not stood. Us

16:00

guys are right, Yeah,

16:04

us guys don't get enough respect. Yeah.

16:06

So um, Apparently

16:09

the extractor fan is broken

16:11

in the galley, which is an issue

16:13

because they needed to suck the smoke

16:16

and heat out of the galley while Kevin is cooking.

16:19

So yeah, Kevin and Captain are talking

16:21

about how to deal with this, and Kevin is annoyed

16:24

because it limits his menu.

16:27

A little bit, but Captain is like, we will

16:29

get a bunch of fans in there and hopefully that will

16:31

help and hopefully we'll get fixed soon.

16:34

And Kate promotes Courtney to second

16:36

STU as well and says it's somewhat of

16:38

a punishment for Simone's brady behavior

16:40

and encouragement for Courtney because she's

16:43

been working and doing a good job and

16:46

I was like, she's just your best friend. Also,

16:48

you're allowed to have two second studis. It's

16:51

so weird. Why don't you

16:53

do this at the end of the charter

16:56

of the season. Isn't that when you're supposed

16:58

to give someone their stripes that you earned this season.

17:01

He did a full good season. You don't give it

17:03

just, especially right in front of the other person.

17:05

Just it's so rude.

17:08

Yeah, yeah

17:11

that. Simone calls her mom to complain a bit about

17:13

Kayton, calls her evil and says she would

17:15

not work with Kate again, but she says

17:18

she knows how rude. Yeah,

17:20

she says she knows how to be a professional though, regardless,

17:23

and it's no basic bitch and can get through

17:25

this. Yeah, good

17:27

for her. At that time, Tanner

17:29

and Nashon are talking about dancing with the girls

17:31

the day before at the club and how Tanner got

17:33

in trouble for it, and he says he likes

17:35

Simone, but he likes being single, and if

17:37

you were to have a girlfriend, it wouldn't be someone who gets

17:40

jealous so easily. And

17:42

I'm like, you're a loser. You're never going to find a

17:44

person who's not gonna be jealous by you creeping on other

17:46

women. So nice, try Tanner, You're

17:49

a trashner. He

17:51

does go on to have sex with Asia. Yeah,

17:54

but Asia wasn't choosing him as

17:56

a life partner. Issua was, you know, but

17:59

it's still a It a good win, and it doesn't

18:01

teach him any good lessons. Yeah,

18:04

the loser, trashner

18:07

losener so

18:11

um Captain Lee gets an

18:13

email and then calls the crew

18:15

into a meeting because he's very annoyed. And

18:17

in the meeting he says he only has two rules.

18:19

Don't embarrass yourself, don't embarrass the boat.

18:22

But in the email that he got from the Dream

18:24

Club, it says that someone did a cannonball

18:27

into the pool and the DJ

18:29

equipment got damaged because of it. And

18:31

if we recall it

18:33

was Ashton Dunne Dune

18:36

done, Mr

18:38

Rules and good

18:40

times and I

18:43

don't know, respect is

18:45

trash? All right, let's

18:48

take a quick break. We'll be right back

18:50

and we come back. We're gonna talk some more about Trashton

18:58

and we're bad back.

19:00

If you guys hear any weird noises, they're

19:02

working on my roof again, and Nick

19:04

might get to witness the ceiling falling

19:06

in and crushing me potentially. Wow,

19:10

isn't that fun? I might die

19:12

on this zoom call. What a what

19:14

a way to end the show. And guys, unfortunately

19:17

you've lost Anna to the roof collapsing

19:20

on her head. Because this city and

19:22

this apartment complex lacks the

19:24

right fucking code

19:27

or whatever to exist. Yeah,

19:30

that would be cool. Building code is when I met,

19:33

not like code of ethics. They don't have ethics

19:35

either, but even

19:37

the physical code is lacking because

19:41

my roof shouldn't be caving in.

19:44

So yeah,

19:48

we're back. The Beach Club was like, fuck you guys

19:51

for you know, ruining our

19:53

DJ equipment, and so the

19:55

Beach Club has asked to be compensated, and Captain

19:57

Lee says the crew has to take care of it, and

20:00

Ashton tells Captain Lee it was him, and

20:02

he apologizes and he says he will pay for

20:04

the damage, and Captain Lee

20:06

says that Ashton gets a pass for this one, but

20:08

the ice he is skating on has gotten very

20:10

thin. And then we learned that Ashton

20:12

owes the club a thousand dollars and

20:15

Captain Lee's like, you better hope you get a good tipt

20:18

christ. That's so much money.

20:20

Yeah, well, then don't do a fucking cannonball

20:22

in like a light pool next to a bar

20:24

in the DJ stand. I never

20:27

do well, now you know you shouldn't.

20:30

I don't. Okay, we'll

20:32

see there's

20:35

say okay, we'll wait wait

20:38

for why you bitch. H

20:42

m hmmm, we'll

20:44

see see.

20:48

Yes, okay.

20:52

So Ashton goes and apologizes to

20:54

everyone, and he apologizes to Kate for

20:56

embarrassing them at the club and

20:58

she's like okay. Then she's like

21:00

it was probably built a frustration of having to wait

21:03

for Kate and Riley to get ready, and he's like those

21:05

are two separate issues, and she's like okay.

21:08

The national gets upset at Kate for

21:10

being cold to him about his apology,

21:13

and he's like, I'm going around apologizing to everyone for embarrassing

21:15

them, and she's being rude and it's

21:18

like, yeah, you're not getting along

21:20

right now, just leave it alone. So

21:24

uh yeah, I guess arriving,

21:26

I don't know, it's awesome. Kate

21:29

says she likes returning charter guests because it

21:31

takes away some of the stress because

21:34

you know what they want. But last time these

21:36

guests had a shitty time, so they all really need

21:38

to make up for that. So Kate gives

21:40

the guests a tour of the boat and they're

21:42

like, Wow, it's even more beautiful than Tahiti,

21:45

and I'm like, God, it's all beautiful, like you guys are

21:47

all on exotic locations. So

21:50

it's already very hot in the galley because

21:52

the fan is broken, and Kevin says he's going to

21:54

try and avoid making any hot food for the time

21:56

being. And the guests are sitting down

21:59

for lunch. The deck crew,

22:01

while they're putting out water toys, spot a bunch

22:03

of jellyfish and let the guests know. And

22:05

they asked them to put out the critter pool for

22:07

them to swim in. And if you guys are called

22:09

the critter pools like that little pool with the nets, so it stops

22:12

like jellyfish little critters from

22:14

getting in, and Ashton

22:16

says they've been avoiding the critter pool because it's

22:18

a pin in the ass, but this is

22:20

the one that they have to try and figure it out. It

22:23

doesn't ever seem like anyone enjoys

22:26

it. Really. I feel like there's one charter

22:28

ever where they just like hung out at the critter pool.

22:31

It looks so awful. Oh

22:34

yeah, I mean, plus

22:38

is life. This is life.

22:41

So at lunch, one of the guests

22:43

finds a hair in their and

22:46

Kevin is horrified because he's like, it's bad to

22:48

start a first meal like that because it really sets

22:51

the tone. And the deck crews

22:53

attempting to get the critter pool in the water. Kate

22:56

is working on getting the dancers for the performance

22:58

that night, and Ryan says he

23:00

finds Riley very annoying because she

23:03

she speaks basically, and these guys are

23:05

kind of like, dumb quiet, be quiet,

23:07

dumb woman, be quiet,

23:10

and it's mostly her just being like, Okay, I think we should

23:13

do this, and they're like, oh my god,

23:15

fuck you. She

23:17

just like speaks and like it

23:20

points things out and suggests things,

23:22

and the guys get so pissed. You

23:24

know the problem, it's not what she's

23:27

saying, it's how she's saying it. And

23:29

sometimes it is that she's saying it. She

23:31

says a bunch of ship. You don't need to say.

23:34

If somebody makes a mistake, and

23:36

like you're working and they tell you

23:38

to do something else, you don't have to spend five

23:41

minutes about what they told you last time.

23:43

I know it's something different, it's a new thing.

23:45

Fucking do it. Wow,

23:48

you're some very upset. I'm

23:51

just I'm doesn't

23:54

need this, doesn't need this. I agree

23:56

she has a tone to her, but like, have

23:59

you learned nothing? You just ignore it.

24:02

You don't need to fucking ignore it because

24:04

she doesn't own the boat. Jesus,

24:09

someone else needs to be ignored. What

24:14

your tone again is pop? Make

24:16

any sense? Uh?

24:21

It's tough to hear you yell at me like that.

24:25

Okay, I'm just saying it's

24:27

not like a woman things

24:31

to think that, because if Tanner or Brian was

24:33

doing that, they'd be like, good idea, Brian,

24:36

they would be fighting. Guys fight,

24:39

just not these guys. No. So

24:42

yes, they get the critter pool out there and

24:44

the guests get in and everyone's

24:46

struggling in the galley because of how hot it is,

24:48

and they finally get some fans in to blow the

24:50

air around to get the smoke out,

24:53

and the deck crew, you know, they swim whatever.

24:56

The guests are done with it, and they

24:58

go into their rooms to get ready

25:00

for dinner service, and the deck crew

25:02

basically has to spend hours getting the critter

25:04

pool back up and folded away, and they

25:06

are definitely struggling, and

25:09

everyone's getting frustrated, and what do you

25:11

know, Brian tells Riley to calm

25:13

down, and of course she starts to get upset.

25:16

And when he told her to calm down, all she was

25:18

saying is why don't we try it this way basically,

25:20

and he was like, calm down, Okay, we're getting there, Calm

25:23

down. That's a microaggression.

25:25

Sorry to break it to you, but men do that all the time.

25:29

You are missing the fact that

25:31

this woman has a fucking hair trigger like

25:33

no one ever on this show. I

25:35

agree everything she says

25:38

is an active of outward aggression.

25:41

A fuck it with these microaggressions

25:44

against Riley, there's no more

25:46

microaggression. She sucks and

25:48

she can she can't be talked to like a normal

25:50

person. Yes

25:52

she can't. You treat her like a normal person and

25:54

not someone who's annoying you, then she won't get upset.

25:58

All right. I

26:01

just feel like I've like studied Riley

26:03

and I could speak to her like a person in a

26:05

way that wouldn't upset her. M

26:08

hm. It's not hard.

26:11

Mutual respect is not hard. So

26:14

yeah, everyone's getting ready for dinner,

26:16

and Riley is telling Kate how annoyed

26:18

she is at Brian, and upstairs

26:20

on the deck, Ashton is telling Brian to choose

26:23

his words carefully when speaking to Riley. See

26:25

at least Ashton gets it, And

26:28

then Riley calls Brian Ashton

26:30

Jr. Because she thinks he's well,

26:34

yeah, he's just intense. Yeah.

26:36

The dancer has arrived and they're getting ready

26:38

in Kate's room for the after

26:40

dinner performance, and Kevin

26:42

is trying to step it up for dinner

26:44

with a pineapple rice in pineapple

26:47

a little pineapple bowl, and he made

26:49

pork on a stick and he says his daughter

26:51

likes meat on his stick, So I think this will be fun

26:54

for the kids. And the guests

26:56

are into it. One guest is like,

26:58

I don't link porn, but

27:01

the guests really like the table set up in decorations,

27:05

and the dancer comes out and performs

27:07

right before dessert, and they love

27:09

the dance performance, but afterwards they

27:11

get this like rice dessert, like a sticky

27:13

rice sort of situation, and

27:16

one guest is like, I don't really like rice for

27:18

dissenter, and then this

27:20

other guest says that he wanted Michelin level

27:22

of food and not meat on a stick. And

27:26

they're hoping for better food the next day,

27:28

and Kate tells Kevin what they

27:30

said, and he says that he could have refined

27:33

it a little more, but he really can't win with these guests.

27:36

Yeah, And Tanner asked him one if she's cool with keeping

27:38

it casual, and she says yes, as long as there's

27:41

respect in this casual thing.

27:43

And he's like, yeah, totally, which means he's

27:45

not gonna respect her. And someone

27:47

says she's honestly too busy for tanner ship

27:49

and should avoid him, but she just likes making

27:52

out with him. Okay,

27:54

everyone goes to bed. It's

27:56

the next day. Wow,

28:00

what a time to be alive, am I right? Yeah?

28:05

Huh no, Yeah,

28:10

it's not a great time to be alive. No,

28:13

I just I don't know what you're talking about.

28:15

I'm waiting to see what happened the next day. What

28:19

if I tell you nothing

28:21

happened? How

28:25

wild? And that's where the show just ended abruptly.

28:30

I do think that extractor fan needs to be

28:33

fixed a sap though. That's

28:35

like really shitty, and

28:38

you know what, the next day, we're

28:41

gonna find out exactly why

28:45

it needs to be fixed. Sorry, I don't know why I'm stalling.

28:49

I don't know what's happening. Captain Lee

28:51

lets Brian and Ashton know that the water taxi

28:54

is going to bring the husband's parents

28:56

out to the boat as a surprise, so

29:00

are trying to plan for a beach

29:02

picnic that they're going to have right after the grandparents

29:04

arrive. And Ashon

29:06

is concerned because the kids are a safety hazard

29:09

and already and now they have two elderly

29:11

people who are going to be like a super

29:13

safety hazard. So they need

29:16

to be very, very calculated because

29:18

if anyone gets her on their dime, we're

29:21

gonna die. Everyone's

29:24

gonna die. That's

29:27

a that's a new twist on this episode.

29:30

Do you think they're having a good time? Do you

29:32

think the chargers having a good time. Sure,

29:35

I mean for the time being. Mhm,

29:39

I mean why you don't think so? Uh

29:42

No, I just I can't imagine

29:44

they are. You know, I don't know why they would

29:47

come back. You know, it's like they're super

29:49

rich and they're like, Hey, what's a place

29:51

we had a terrible time, Let's

29:53

go back there. I agree,

29:55

I do think it's weird that they came back,

29:59

considering there's only vibes

30:01

of them waiting for them to funk up, Like when

30:03

someone found a rice or a hair in their meal,

30:06

they were like strike one. It's

30:08

like you're you want them to funk

30:10

up, so you have a reason to be like they fucked up.

30:12

Like that's a vibe I don't care for. Like

30:16

they're constantly being like, well, they

30:18

fucked up, and it's like

30:21

or now I'm

30:24

not trying to like rock any boats here, or

30:28

and this might be very controversial,

30:31

you could just try and enjoy yourself. Whoa,

30:34

whoa, whoa? Is

30:37

that too much? That's crazy? Talk?

30:40

Am I out of control? You're a nuts?

30:44

Just like, just like enjoy it for what it is. You're

30:46

on a super yacht in the middle of Who is

30:48

that one dude who is the rabble rouser.

30:51

There's like that one guy on the end. I don't

30:53

think he knows anybody. He's just like, hey, if

30:55

anyone thinks they're having a good time, let me just

30:57

let me tell you. Yeah,

30:59

it's the on a stick guy. We

31:01

gotta complain. We should be complaining

31:04

more. He's like, yes,

31:06

so putting rice

31:09

for dessert, go fuck yourself, trash

31:12

me on a stick. That's not Michelin

31:15

Start enough for me. I'm sorry. There

31:17

is no fucking Michelin Star restaurant

31:20

that puts me on a stick. Can also

31:22

guess what, idiot, this isn't a Michelin

31:24

Star restaurant. There's a boat. There's

31:27

a boat with fucking Kevin.

31:30

Kevin's the cook. You know

31:32

he's not a Michelin Star chef. There

31:34

is a very real distinction that a person

31:37

and a place have, yeah, and he

31:40

does not have it and this place does not have it. I

31:42

only say this Normally I wouldn't

31:44

say if I respect the person, but I think

31:46

Kevin is such trash

31:49

for him to be like that hair that was on the

31:51

food is not mine while

31:53

he's actively balding. There's

31:59

no way it's mine. He said, there's no AD's

32:01

mine because he would have to be a pubic hair. Your

32:03

head is filled with curly

32:05

hair. Idiot, there short curly

32:08

hair. There's a hole in the back. You

32:11

are a short, curly haired

32:14

in the food machine. Yes,

32:17

literally put a hat on or like

32:19

a chef's hat, anything, because you

32:22

are spronkling. You're

32:24

spronkling your little hairs,

32:27

your little pube head hairs,

32:29

all over the food and then

32:31

trying to blame someone else. Yeah,

32:35

that's a fact. And I

32:37

only shame him like this because he's

32:39

already a shitty person and I don't

32:41

care about his feelings, So fuck

32:43

him. Fuck

32:45

him and his hair is that

32:47

he's leaving all over the food and then denying

32:50

let's check his resume. I doubt he's ever even worked

32:52

on a boat before. Whoa incendiary?

32:56

Why? Why? I said this is incendiary?

33:00

How you are coming

33:02

for this guy's credentials? You're

33:05

coming for the list on his CV? Yeah?

33:09

I guess, so, I guess. Yeah, I

33:11

mean the way you say

33:13

it that way, and it makes me think, yeah, probably I

33:15

am. Wow. Alright,

33:17

guys, this has been great, ripping

33:20

Kevin to shreds. But let's

33:22

take a quick break, we're back

33:29

and we're back back, back back

33:32

back back. Bank ran quite

33:34

quick, yeah,

33:37

so what a time

33:39

to be alive. So the grandparents

33:41

pop up when the water taxi arrives,

33:44

and the moms being like, weird, why

33:47

is that water taxi getting so

33:49

close? Weird? Who's on

33:51

that water taxi? Who's approaching

33:54

the boat? Weird?

33:56

Are those people we recognize?

33:59

And then boom bang being the

34:02

grandparents pop off the water taxi

34:04

and everyone's so happy and the dad looks

34:06

like he's like crying, He's like, oh my god,

34:09

oh my god. Um

34:11

to which I want to ask, why

34:14

were they not on the boat originally and

34:17

why did they get kicked off with the boat, And

34:19

why is it a surprise that they're seeing their grandparents

34:22

in the country that their grandparents live

34:24

in, and why is this the only

34:27

time they're seeing their grandparents on this trip?

34:29

Why are they in Thailand and they're not really

34:31

like going over to the grandparents house.

34:34

Well, that's my question. I'm thinking

34:36

they either came or were planning

34:38

on going, So I'm

34:41

sure they saw the grandparents at some

34:43

point or we're planning on seeing them after this,

34:46

but they just choked. They just decided that they weren't

34:48

good enough to come on the boat for

34:50

the full tree. It's it, And you

34:52

could tell that the parents were

34:55

maybe not as sophisticated as

34:58

everybody else. And um,

35:02

I think these are low class people.

35:04

I think he's clearly new money and

35:06

he had to teach himself how to act well.

35:09

Yeah, and that's why he's such a he's

35:11

such a massochist that he keeps going on

35:14

this boat. When the parents get

35:16

on the boat, they take them into the wheelhouse and then

35:18

Grandpa literally says like, this

35:20

is our first time ever on a boat like this, and

35:23

then Captain Lean's like take it off the bucket list.

35:25

Yeah, and it looks like they live in Thailand because the grandfather

35:28

is Thai, but the mom, the grandmother seemed

35:30

like a white woman. I think

35:34

it's hard to tell. She was wearing sunglasses. Yeah,

35:37

it's really hard to tell someone's life

35:39

story when they're wearing sunglasses. You're

35:42

right, whatever, I'm just trying

35:44

to figure out what the story

35:46

is here, and you gotta put somebody in a box,

35:48

right otherwise, No,

35:52

I'm just trying to understand, like why they

35:54

would just casually live in Thailand but

35:57

they are they do appear to be Tai, which makes

35:59

sense. Yeah, but imagine, imagine

36:02

how wonderful their life probably is. Oh,

36:04

it's probably so joyous God,

36:08

just to be in love for that long, you know. I

36:10

remember I met this kid in l A once. He had

36:13

like a broken collar bone, and he was telling me that

36:15

he broken in Thailand because

36:17

he was there. I

36:20

don't even know what he said he was doing. I think he was like trying

36:22

to ride a bike with a bunch of people on it, but

36:25

he was saying that he was there staying with

36:27

his friend's dad, and his friend's dad

36:29

moved there. He's like this old white guy and he

36:31

just moved there to just

36:34

live his life out because it's like very kind

36:36

of cheap over there. The dollar goes a long way,

36:38

and he's just like taken care of by

36:40

like young Thai women that

36:43

he just like pays to be around him. And

36:46

I was like McAfee,

36:49

I don't talk. I don't

36:51

know his name, but maybe it was, but I was

36:54

like, I'm sorry what he's like, Yeah, how cool

36:56

is that? And I was like not

36:59

cool? Not

37:02

Yeah, So grandparents

37:04

arrive, everyone's so happy. Kate says she loves

37:07

old people. Because they're so cute and have

37:09

wisdom, And Kate and Kevin

37:11

are planning the lunch picnic for the guests,

37:13

and he really wants to do a family style because

37:16

I guess he loves that ship just keeps going on about

37:18

sucking family style, and he said,

37:20

yeah, the food should all be set up by the time they arrived

37:22

to the beach, and Kid's like, okay,

37:24

let's do it, queen uh,

37:26

And Ashton attempts to make the first take

37:29

the first set of guests over to the beach they

37:31

could chill before the picnic, but

37:33

after checking out the like waves crashing

37:35

on the rocks, he decides that it's

37:38

not safe, Like the conditions are not safe

37:40

to bring a tender out there, especially

37:42

with kids and elderly on board. And

37:45

he's like, you know, I don't want to have to like try and get

37:47

people off the boat while the tender is literally

37:49

crashing into rocks. So

37:52

he radios Captain Lee. Catherine

37:55

Lee agrees, if it's not safe, then you can't do

37:57

it, and Ashton's like, I can't risk any injuries.

37:59

If anyone gets injured on

38:01

my watch, that's our ass. He's

38:03

turning into Kathleen that's our The

38:07

man who taught me everything I know says

38:10

I have to eat your ass. Yeah,

38:13

and kay over here is and

38:15

she's annoyed because she said it was on the preference

38:17

sheet that they

38:19

guest that they wanted beach

38:22

pick a beach picnic, and the guests

38:24

were excited about it. So

38:27

now they have to make up for the fact

38:29

that they're missing the beach. So they have to break

38:32

out all the water toys and have a great lunch

38:34

ready to go to fix

38:36

another funk

38:39

up thoughts

38:46

nick Um, Yeah,

38:49

it's not their fault. And they

38:51

keep saying this over

38:53

and over on this show. They have to make these decisions

38:56

constantly on this show. And

38:59

it's like when you see someone you

39:01

know who's rude to a waiter because

39:03

the waiters like, look, I don't know what, you know, what's

39:05

going on. They're just the food's taking a

39:07

while and there's nothing I can do about it.

39:09

I'm a fucking waiter. I'm not in net cooking your food.

39:13

And like when they don't believe them

39:15

and they're making these snide comments like I know

39:17

they could have done it. Fuck you, you

39:19

you don't know anything, you

39:21

fucking asshole. All you know is you

39:23

don't like meat on a stick, you dumb piece

39:25

of ship. I'm

39:27

curious. Why couldn't they just swim

39:29

to the beach. I guess because there's

39:32

old people and kids. Yeah,

39:34

that's the that's the thing that's tough.

39:36

That's definitely tough. Well,

39:40

okay, the guests are starting to

39:42

notice how smoky it's getting in the

39:44

galley, and the interior crew

39:47

is trying to like distract them from it, and

39:49

of course the guys the debt crew are getting

39:52

annoyed, uh by

39:54

Riley's not because they always find

39:56

a way to get annoyed by Riley, because they're like, she's

39:58

doing these weird fish mignachts not

40:01

and we don't understand what to do. And

40:04

then the fire alarm goes off in the galley from

40:06

all the smoke, and the guests are all concerned and they're

40:08

like, we don't need whatever he's cooking. We can just go to

40:10

the island to eat. You can't, bitch,

40:12

have you not been listening. You can't go to the

40:14

island unless you plan on swimming. You know this

40:17

thing and that was so beautiful. It's like all they want to do

40:19

is go eat on the beach. You know, and you know

40:21

who can eat on the beach today.

40:23

Every single person who's

40:26

not in a fucking mega yacht can

40:28

just go to the beach and eat there, and you fucking

40:30

can't because you're stuck in your millionaire's

40:33

jail. I don't feel sorry

40:35

for you. You pass shaped.

40:38

I like the millionaire jail, thank

40:41

you. I'm a poet. And

40:46

yeah, so Kate says, this entire

40:48

experience has turned into chaos as

40:50

a dead hands struggle with the water toys

40:53

and the galleys fielded with smoke and

40:55

they're basically sucking at making this up for

40:57

the charter and it's just so silly, like to a point

40:59

where like it's just like holding a fan and

41:01

walking around with it to try and blow the smoke out.

41:04

And uh yeah, that's where the

41:06

episode ends, in absolute

41:09

fucking chaos. Uh

41:12

should we I mean, do you have any thoughts

41:14

or should we go into boat Facts? No? I

41:16

think we should go right to boat Facts

41:19

because it's a pretty big day over

41:21

here at boat Facts Central, as

41:24

you all know. Wait wait, wait,

41:26

whoa, whoa, whoa, It's time for boat Facts

41:28

with Nikky Tease. Hey, Nick,

41:31

if you ever try and start a boat fact before I

41:33

do your boat fact intro. Ever, again I swear

41:35

to you, well, maybe if you were

41:37

more on top of it. You

41:40

didn't even give me a second. Well,

41:44

you know, get more on top of it. And a

41:46

lot of producers wouldn't need a second,

41:48

you know, because they know how the show is run.

41:51

But does some something a little more help? And that's

41:53

nothing against you. It's

41:56

not saying anything bad about well,

41:58

I get yeah, I mean I guess it is. Yeah,

42:01

I guess it is bad about you. Um

42:06

so, but you know I forgive you anyway.

42:09

Are you ready for this boat fact? I'm gonna put my

42:11

fist up, but no, come

42:13

on, what are you? Captain? Lee? Yes, okay,

42:16

do the boat fact? Okay?

42:18

So as you all know, anyone and

42:20

anyone and everyone can leave me a boat

42:22

fact as long as it's in a five

42:25

star review on Apple Podcasts. Now,

42:27

wouldn't you know it? But today

42:30

we have one using this

42:33

method, and that's very exciting for

42:35

me and it's very exciting for everyone. Now,

42:38

this is a five star review only

42:41

kind we accept. The subject

42:43

header is barnacles. This

42:45

is a review by Karen Thomsen

42:48

for presidents. I'm

42:50

not sure I can fully

42:53

endorse this candidate. Not

42:55

familiar with the prop with the platform.

42:58

But here's a boat

43:00

fact for you. Incredible barnacles.

43:03

That's it. That's the boat fact. Back

43:06

to you, anahosn A.

43:09

Um no. She goes on to say,

43:11

large barnacle colonies cause, uh,

43:15

cause ships to drag and burn more fuel,

43:17

leading to significant economic and environmental

43:20

costs. The U. S. Navy estimates

43:22

that heavy barnacle growth on ships increases

43:25

weight and dragged by as much as

43:28

resulting in as much as increase

43:31

in fuel consumption. That's

43:33

barkers. Yeah,

43:36

did you know about this? No? I didn't, but it

43:38

makes sense that they're always like, go clean the barnacles

43:41

off the bottom of the boat. And then remember what's

43:43

his name? C J was like, it is

43:45

not enough penicillin in the world

43:48

that can save me from a oh not again,

43:50

not with one more infection. No

43:54

yeah, um yeah,

43:56

no, I forgot about that. Um, but that is

43:58

absolutely true. Uh,

44:01

you'd think that there would be more of an industry

44:03

to clean the barnacles, like, they're like,

44:05

there's not guys, they could pay to clean their

44:07

barnacles off. You're losing that much fuel, it's

44:10

got to be worth a couple hundred a day.

44:13

Yeah, that's

44:15

a lot, but

44:18

barnacles grow. How

44:20

how quick does it take for barnacle to attach?

44:23

Um? I mean I can't

44:26

take that long if

44:29

it's already happening. Well,

44:33

that was a great boat

44:35

fact by classic nikky

44:37

tease Karen

44:39

Tongsen. Perhaps for president

44:42

pending some internal

44:44

investigations. M

44:47

hmm interesting,

44:50

Thank you so much for leaving that five

44:52

star review and uh

44:54

giving us a boat fact. Guys, that

44:56

could be you. You could also be running

44:58

for president and leaving us boat facts

45:00

with five star reviews, and we could use

45:03

these five star reviews. You guys, we

45:05

are starved for some five

45:07

stars sirs, And I know y'all

45:09

are listening. If you've gotten this far and you

45:11

haven't given us a five star review, well

45:14

that's Joe's rudy too, too toot, as

45:16

Simone would say, that's rude, and

45:19

Nick and I were not basic bitches. We

45:21

know how to be professional, but we're not happy.

45:24

And I swear to God I will jump off

45:27

the boat about the boat.

45:29

So leave us a five star review. We would really appreciate

45:32

it. How many times do I have to say that, like my house

45:34

is caving in? You know what could hold it up?

45:36

Some five star revias. Okay,

45:41

all right, well that was season

45:43

seven, episode eleven of Below

45:46

deck You can follow us at deckheads Pod on

45:48

Instagram and Twitter. You can email us at deck heads

45:50

pot at gmail dot com. You can

45:53

follow me out and a hosting and Nick is at Nick's

45:55

Turners. Check out our

45:57

merch on t public Queen

46:01

Merch t Public. We'll post your

46:03

photos, send them to us. We love

46:06

our listeners. We want you

46:08

to be on this journey with us. We

46:10

want to be on the journey with you as you

46:12

listen to six thousand episodes

46:14

we put out. Hey, guys, you

46:17

are watching the destruction of

46:19

our minds. Don't

46:22

you want to be a part of that? Doesn't

46:24

that make you feel good? How sick we

46:27

are? Oh god,

46:31

the wrong kind of audience here? No,

46:34

No, everyone's happy with this the

46:36

sending. Al Right, guys, we gotta

46:38

go. I have so much to do, like um

46:41

be crushed by um

46:44

my ceiling. So we are

46:47

This might be the last you ever hear me, so leave that

46:49

five star review by

46:53

bye.

47:00

Yeah. Deckheads

47:03

is a production of I Heart Radio. For more

47:05

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i heart Radio app. Apple podcasts,

47:09

or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.